To: The police who respond to mental health calls

I know this will not describe all of you.  I wish it would only describe a slight minority, but in my experience, it is the majority.  When you get the call for a mental health case, and need to secure the scene for EMS, I understand you are only doing your job.  But let me tell you how it feels from my side of the call.

If you’re called, I’m usually in a very angry, agitated state.  I have tried my prescribed meds, that normally work.  They aren’t working strongly, but I’m trying to calm down.  I want to cover my ears to the noise, concentrate on my breathing, and think of a long hot shower.  Then you show up, and take over.  I don’t get any choices anymore.  I can tell you that I’m angry and trying to calm down.  I can tell you I don’t plan on harming myself or others.  I just need a little more time to calm down.  I have no guns.  I have kitchen knives, but I don’t plan on harming anyone.  I have no history of violence.  I just want to sleep.  

“Do you want to go to the hospital?”

“No”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No - they won’t do anything for me that I haven’t already done”

“Well, here’s what’s going to happen.  I got called, and I don’t have time to deal with mental illness.  So you’re going to the hospital, or you’re going to jail.”

There, you said it, jail.  As if to imply that being mentally ill is a crime.  It’s not.  I am not a criminal.  I am sick.  But at that point, I did not need the hospital.  You have not given me a choice.  You have taken my choices and my dignity away.  And, you have now saddled me with an $800 ambulance ride and a $500 emergency room visit.  All because you didn’t have the time to deal with me.  This is why I don’t like cops sometimes, because they have an ego that this isn’t what they signed up for.

Here’s what would be great.  Sit down, or get eye level with me, talk to me.  Ask me what's wrong.  Standing over me with your hands on your belt, barking orders, isn’t helping.  Its hurting.  I’m not going to hurt you, but I need someone on my side sometimes.  Talk to me, make sure that I’m getting what I need.  But don’t treat me like a criminal, because I’m not one.  I’ve been sentenced enough by this diagnosis.  I’m being judged enough in life.  Please, don’t convict me too.